Directing traffic (part deux)

It’s quite usual to see people directing traffic - usually guys aged mid 20’s.

The other Saturday during a long journey up a very congested road the car was held up by someone directing traffic. It was a kid - probably about age 9, with 2 younger siblings by his side. The age was in itself unusual, but the thing that made all four of us in the car call out was the cigarette he was smoking.

In unison we all asked “Is he really smoking?”

Smoking rates might be well down in the developed world, but big tobacco is making the most of developing markets in the developing world.

 

The things you do when bored

Being in lockdown, if you get an offer to go somewhere - you do it. Anywhere - I don’t care where.

Saturday afternoon I was offered a visit to the Jakarta Fair. I’d read a little bit about it in the local newspaper, and one of the guys I went 10 pin bowling with on Friday night mentioned it. Subconsciously I cringed - it wouldn’t be my sort of thing.

The Jakarta Fair runs for about a month and has 3 million people visit. For those from Melbourne - imagine the Royal Melbourne Show without animals and rides. Add a huge dose of a “home maker” show - with endless kitchen gadgets, loads of furniture and bedding. Add a healthy mix of a motorbike and car show and you’ve got the Jakarta Fair.

The fair held at a former airport - with one of the roads the old runway, while all the exhibits are in the old hangers and main terminal building. We’re talking vast sheds!

To summarise - I think my subconscious cringe was pretty bang on!

After wandering for 3 hours my mind had also wandered off, imagining sitting in the hotel bar with some fajitas sizzling in front of me. My host had another idea - and so we went to “Ancol Beach” and one of Jakarta’s biggest seafood restaurants. We’re not talking seafood restaurant with steak for the non seafood eaters - we’re talking 100’s of fish, crabs, clams, prawns swimming in tanks. An equivalent number of whole fish sitting in eskies (a.k.a cool boxes) on ice.

You select your fish, weigh it, get charged and then it gets delivered to your table with rice and a few condiments. I’m not the worlds best fish eater, so tiger prawns it was. I wasn’t even game to pick them out of the tank, so I let my companions order and select on my behalf. At least they were fresh - too fresh to think about.

Meanwhile in this massive center courtyard things started heading down hill, with a graduating high school year celebrating, their teacher getting on stage and singing to them. The nights nadir though came when tinkly keyboards started up and someone in a pretty wobbly voice started singing “And Iiiiiiiii, will always love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu” in quite possibly the most ordinary rendition of a very ordinary song. To paraphrase the Australian band Weddings, Parties, Anything… “When I listen to Whitney Houston I wonder what I’m doing here”.

 

All aboard…. the chicken express!

The other day I was being driven to the office, zipping along (yes the traffic here can zip occasionally!) slowly catching up to a motorbike in front of us.

I looked at the motorbike, the back of which was covered in a sea of white fluff - a metre each side of the bike and piled about half a metre high.

What was the fluff I wondered, as the car slowly gained ground - it looked so soft, like duck down stuck down.

The closer we got, the white looked more alluring, lightly flapping as the motorbike moved. What was it?

The bike stopped at traffic, and we pulled up close behind. I got a good look.

Yes - it was about 100 unplucked chicken carcasses, nicely laid on a board across the back of the bike.

One of those “I need a camera moments”, although suddenly wasn’t so fascinating to look at…

 

A quick trip home

One of the reasons I haven’t been posting much recently is that I’ve had a quick trip home.

It was a bit of a flying visit and I didn’t get to see everyone I wanted to. Even though I’ve only been here for 7 weeks you still suffer some culture shock when you get home.

Things I noticed

• People walking around (yay!)
• Air quality
• My special Jakarta cough mostly disappeared
• Multiple hair colours (Blonde - what’s that!)
• People from different subcultures walking along the street
• Less conservative clothing

I’m sure when I got back on Thursday morning and walked a bit that I was doing the tourist head spinning 180 degrees left and right thing.

All of which proves - normality is relative, and normality varies massively.

 

You too can direct traffic!

Standing around, doing nothing?

Bit short of a dollar?

How about directing traffic?

That’s what the locals do. Mostly local guys between about 18-25, they stand in the middle of the road, or at intersections where people would otherwise not get into or across the stream of traffic, put their hands up and stop the traffic - and everyone tends to obey them - in the local half pushy, half time will wait manner.

In return about 50% of the time most drivers will wind down their windows and handover a coins - remembering the biggest coin is worth about 6 cents - and the smallest about 0.6 cents. These part time traffic directors take particualr care of buses - most of which have “conductors” (I’m not sure -there’s no uniform and they could be doing a similar made up job) hanging out the back door. The conductors make sure people get on and off (an achievment given there are no formal bus stops) and also hand over coins to the traffic guys.

 

Greasing the wheels

You may remember my post about the tea lady.

We’ve switched offices for the last few weeks, and moved into another tea ladies zone. Our former tea lady still kept on serving us tea and coffee - although she was clearly a bit late and slack about it. God forbid - we even missed out one morning - and our morning tea started arriving at 10am, 11am instead of 8am.

The other notable thing is the tea lady supposedly can provide soft drinks. I mentioned a fondness for diet coke in the afternoon, and a couple random times a diet coke appeared instead of tea. Worked for me!

Being pretty sure that the tea lady isn’t paid much - I’m told annual salaries can be less then I received when my luggage went missing at the airport, the other Friday I gave her a small token of my appreciation. Come Monday morning, viola - I had tea at my desk at 7:45am (yes I have been in the office by 7am!). No soft drink appeared during the week - but Friday a container of “Marie” biscuits appeared.

This week - things have been slackening off - and tea has been turning up later and later. My colleague noticed, and slipped the tea lady some more money - viola - tea by 7:30am and two diet Cokes the next two afternoons!

While the Dutch part of me loathes paying someone a little more to do the job they are paid to do - given local wages I’ve got no qualms about giving someone a little extra and getting a much better service out of it.

 

It’s a new record!

I’ve got photographic proof of the new “aboyinjakarta” motor bike transporting world record.

Yes - a family of 5!

Obviously the fathers head is so much more important then his wife and children’s.

 

Friday nights

It’s Friday night - Scene - A concrete paved carport.

The carport is decorated with a variety of different flashing lights, one of which looks a little like it is connected to an alarm system. Even though it flashes regularly, I don’t think the house is being burgled. If it is, we’re sitting in the carport watching. There are a random collection of chairs, and a few tables which look like they’ve been recycled from an office. In fact, so do the chairs.

Someone has brought a couple buckets of KFC, and someone else a slab of Heineken, the host has laid on a bit more beer, and a few miscellaneous dishes. A few speakers are set up, connected to a keyboard and a few microphones. Much singing ensues.

By midnight the majority of people have disappeared, and it’s quiet. It could be a scene from the suburbs from Melbourne.

The servants serving us, the style of music, occasional songs in different languages and towering skyscrapers all around us prove that it isn’t…. But it could be.

 

Fish, fish and more fish….

I’m not sure where the fish come from, but just outside the office is a fish market - and the fish look fresh.

We drive past the market about a third of the time, depending on the way we drive to work. I went past it on the first day - and it was pretty pungent. I really had to concentrate on other things (and look away) in order to not leave stains on my shirt - never a good look first day as you walk into the office.

I recently found the fish market disappears by about 9am - it turns into a motorbike parking lot. Sort of makes sense, as the fish aren’t stored on ice - by 9am you won’t be getting fresh fish.

The other day my colleague and I got taken to lunch outside the office compound - walking straight past where the fish market is. Being lunchtime bikes were all parked up - but there was plenty of pungent evidence of the true nature of the area - including mid road pools of very smelly water.

Fish anyone?

 

Assumptions…

I always love people assuming things.

My better half is in town, and being in lock down with no one to take us out on Sunday, we spent some of the day around the pool.

It’s nice and warm - 30+ degree’s, so after a while I need a drink - as does my better half. I want a diet coke, she wants a beer. I go to the bar and order.

The drinks get delivered to our poolside lounges - the waiter hands me the beer, and her the diet coke. As my better half said “That waiter has never met a girl from Leeds!”.